Friday, January 24, 2014

happy...free...confused.

We're happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time.

It's in those lyrics that I start this post.
(yes, I am a closet tswift fan)

Dear people, marriage is hard. 

It's happy, free, confusing, and lonely all at the same time.

There's laughter.

'Cause there we are again in the middle of the night.
We dance around the kitchen in the refrigerator light

& tears. 

I can't decide if it's a choice, getting swept away.

& wondering if I made the right choice - doing this whole married thing. 
& crying out to God asking for clarity & endurance.

Stay, stay, stay
I've been loving you for quite some time

Until He shows me that I'm exactly where I have to be, even if it doesn't always make sense.

You took the time to memorize me:
my hopes, my fears, my dreams.

& reminds me of all those little things I always wished I had, that are now mine to enjoy.

It's been occurring to me I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life.

& then things start to look a little brighter. 

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for. (Epicurus)

I can't lose heart. 

These light and momentary troubles are preparing me for an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 
(2 Corinthians 4:17)

even so, I wouldn't ever ever give this up for the world.

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